At that time I had no idea that one day I would head a PR firm and regularly work with celebrities and professional athletes.  In fact, Kim Basinger and I crossed paths again.  But, that is a story for another time. 

In my executive coaching practice today, I am well of aware of a point the waitress was making back then.   People get dream jobs even when they are not the best candidate. 

Here are some reasons that are offered up by others when this happens –  for why the “not as deserving”  got the job.

• They are lucky – right place, right time
• They are very political 
• They know someone

Each of those is true, but the labels are wrong.   It’s a negative spin on what are usually powerful and positive attributes of the people who out-achieve other people with more talent and people who have delivered better results.   

• Luck –  sometimes it does just happen, but more often it’s the outcome of managing relationships
• Political –  is better thought of as influential   
• They know someone – is another name for never letting your network die (internal or external)

Your talent, your results are important, but they will not speak for themselves.

I thought to myself, well, let’s open it up and see how bad it is. Inside was a letter which essentially said, “It’s not always bad news when you hear from us. Have a great birthday!” No summons, no nothing but a wish for me. It was clever and funny and completely surprising.  My view of the clerk of the court’s “brand” took a big upward turn.

It reminded me of a project that I once did for a CEO. He asked me to interview a dozen of his top customers. These top customers did not always do the same amount of business with him year in and year out and he was particularly interested in the kinds of “relationship activities” the customers would value and how this would affect the business flow.

Many of the customer executives said the same things to me in the interviews. They said that the annual conference and education the company provided were good. That going out to lunch now and then with their salesperson was fine. That knowing they could pick up the phone and reach the CEO personally was a good thing. But what would really set them apart, they said, would be if the salespeople called or came by now and then with absolutely no purpose but to say,”hello, how are you?” And with no attempt, no matter how subtle, to sell them something.

I don’t think many sales organizations factor this thinking into their productivity calculations. I have tried to put that feedback to work in my own consulting practice. I slip and backslide but I try.

This blog is generally about making work work for you.  The number one thing you can do to make work work for you is to find the work that fits you.  The number one thing that assures your sustained success is how you manage your relationships. Let the people who are crictical to your success or have been critical to your success in the past know you appreciate them – without asking them for something. It will surprise them because so few people do it.

My boss had called all of them and me into his office one day to make the announcement. Some of those assembled had been in the running for the job, too. The room was hot, over-crowded, and tense.

He announced that I was their new boss, then looked around the room at each man in turn. It was quiet. He looked down, shook his head as though in deep thought, looked up and said, “She has talent. There is no reason she won’t be a good manager. And, fellows, I am holding each of you responsible for how she turns out.”

We laughed – nervous little chuckles. It was a brilliant move of mis-direction. They were immediately engaged in my success, like it or not. My boss had put a mutually beneficial relationship opportunity square in front of us.

Who ultimately controls your personal success in an organization?

Many people mistakenly believe that their talent, drive or results will speak for themselves. In fact, many corporations tell their employees that if they want to be successful, produce results.

But, have you ever had someone else be given credit for your hard work, your ideas, your results? Been blamed for someone else’s mistake? Happens all the time.

Corporations are social organisms. They are made up of individuals with feelings and opinions and needs. So, my answer to the question of who controls your success, is that in any organization, to sustain success, you have to have a critical mass of others acting on your behalf. Genuinely.

On the competitive field that is the corporation, creating mutually beneficial relationships is your top goal. It means devoting energy to other people, maybe to lots of people, and doing it especially when you don’t need anything specific from them.

Find a way to devote energy to others’ success.

I cannot imagine life without the internet in general.  And the iPod.  The Flip. Blackberry. Laptop. Desktop. Netbook. Kindle. Wii.  Email.  IM.  Twitter.  Blogs.  LinkedIn.  GPS.  Somebody stop me.

Seriously, technology has enriched my life in ways I never could have imagined.  But it has created some new puzzles.  Witness…..

Is it more impressive to other passengers on a plane that I am…

a. reading from an iPad

b. reading from a Kindle

c. reading from a thick scholarly tome which I can barely lift or

d. talking on my cell phone even though the forward door is closed

Which makes me more important….

a. 10,000 followers

b. 10,000 friends

c. 500+ contacts on LinkedIn or

d. 10,000 views on my own YouTube channel

Which has the highest cool factor….

a. my avatar attending a meeting in Second Life  

b. hosting my own webinar

c. my avatar hosting a webinar

Is it more rude to…

a. fail to reply to every text and email in real time no matter where I am

b. ignore the person standing in front of  me, e.g. the presenter at a meeting, so I can reply to texts and emails.  (what are all those hands doing under the conference table anyway?)

c. neither of these is rude

d. both of these are rude

Gotta run – I’m sure the answers are in Wikipedia.

Your business anniversary is a not-to-be-passed up business opportunity.  

Whether it is your 1st or 21st, the year does not matter.  What matters is that you take the opportunity to celebrate your anniversary by emailing your clients and thanking them.  And share information with them that is important to them – that they can use. 

The anniversary communication will remind them (indirectly) of why they do business with you and are happy to continue to do so. Or, if they are former clients, they are reminded of why they should do business with you again. 

This flies in the face of logic.  Isn’t pop music supposed to be dominated by the young and the hot?  Madonna is 50+.  She had no hit records in 2008.   She released an album, which finished in 50th place.  Her music downloads were 14th.  So, did her album and downloads just cost more?  No.  What put her at the top was her 2008 tour.

Whether you are a fan or not, Madonna offers us a great example of a powerful personal brand.    She knows her audience.   She doesn’t worry about appealing to everyone.  She focuses on delivering what her fans want. Again and again.  And they reward her with exceptional loyalty.  Which obviously translates into exceptional income.

It does not escape notice that baby boomers are 78 million strong and any rock star they embrace has a natural advantage in terms of sheer fan numbers.  As noted above, Bob Jovi was #2.   Bruce Springsteen was #3.  You have to go all the way down to #9, the Jonas Brothers, to find a young person.  The brothers earned 25% of what Madonna hauled in.

My favorite on the list?  Neil Diamond.  He came in at #7.  Did I mention he is 68 years old?  The old man rang up $82 million.

OK, so old rock stars have a fan advantage.  But there are plenty of famous baby boomer stars that never make the top 10 moneymaker list.  Their identities are not as clear.  Their energy and commitment to give their fans what they want is not as solid.  In short, their brands are not as strong.

We can all learn from these graying giants who may not be topping the hit singles charts, but are rocking the money charts.

image from absolutemadonna.com

Your personal brand is in fact,  “personal”.  Obvious?  Yes and no.  I am referring to two types of personal.

The first personal is that your personal brand has to be grounded in the genuine you.  You and your competition may share the same strengths and be going after the same consumers, the same target audience.  For example, you may each communicate that you are distinctive because of your “deep expertise”.   To stand out, to control your success, you have to do a better job than your competition at expressing and delivering ”deep expertise.”  

How you do that is unique to you, personal to you. 

The other personal  is about your target audience.   Your target audience are those individuals or groups of individuals that are essential to your success.  If you are in a large organization, your boss is probably your primary audience.  If you are a business owner, your customers are your primary audience.   In either case, you need to really understand your audience -  as well as or better than you understand yourself, and certainly better than your competition understands them.

How much do you know about what your boss or your clients value most, what they dream about, what is precious to them?   

Your audience is made up of ”persons”  - persons with needs, values, beliefs, opinions, hopes, dreams.    The travel industry is an industry of imagination, dreams, day dreams.   In travel, knowing your audience’s dreams is not just a nice to know, it’s a have to know.

Have you ever met someone that you had heard good things about only to discover that the experience of being with them did not live up to their advance billing ?  This is a case of the image not equaling the identity.  The image was made up of your expectations.  The identity you experienced was totally different.

To be a great personal brand you first operate from strengths, the real you, your true identity.  You develop those strengths.  You select a career and an organization that values them.   This postions you to make your greatest contributions and have the greatest satisfaction. 

But being positioned to succeed is not the same as succeeding.   Success requires that you also communicate with your audience better than your competition does.  You have to help your audience consistently see the best of the genuine you. 

I once had a senior client, the president of a company, whose CEO did not consider him strategic enough.  My client was very action oriented and highly people focused.  That was the personal brand he was conveying.  A great brand, but his boss wanted him to be more strategic.

 We fixed it.  We inserted the word “strategic” more frequently into his board presentations.  We made sure he always couched his recommended actions more carefully within the context of the corporate strategy.  In a very short time, he was viewed as strategic.  Ta-da! 

How could this possibly have worked?!  Wasn’t that just gaming the situation?  The reality is that my client was already a strategic thinker.  He just tended to jump into action without doing a good job of conveying his strategy.  His identity and image did not match because he was not managing his comunications. 

You cannot borrow a brand or sustain an image over time that is not the real you.  Our plan worked because my client was already a strategic thinker – he just needed to better at communicating that strength. 

Manage your personal brand to be sure your audiences are seeing the best of you, especially when it counts the most.